The Tale of the Mysterious Bong
I was lying in bed the other night, working out exactly how I would melt the West Antarctic Ice Sheet to drown the low-lying areas of the world if I were a supervillain, when...
Category: Blog posts
Disappointing Apocalypses… Apocali… Something…
So… the world didn’t end. Civilisation didn’t crumble. Nothing of sufficient mass struck the earth at sufficiently high velocity. The dead didn’t rise from their graves. Nothing fell apart. The centre held.
Arts ‘n’ Crafts
Making Spiders I hate spiders. They creep me the fuck out. Unfortunately I’m working on a super-secret project which entailed making little spiders out of wire. It took me a while to figure...
Nasal Assault
On TV shows, and in a lot of movies, people have things that nobody has in real life. For instance, on TV, some guy comes home from work, opens the fridge and gets out...
The Festive Spirit
One Sunday every month, in a small English town somewhere south of Manchester, market stalls spring up along the pedestrianised streets to attract fat-walleted locals from the surrounding area. On this particular Sunday, in...
A Poker Faced Encounter
Where was I? Oh yes, floristry. I currently have no job. This is great. I fill my days with activities of a satisfyingly horizontal nature, trying not to leave the TV on a channel...
Dropping Things
There are certain characteristic noises that can be heard in my rented flat. One is a manic squeaking and hammering of pipes whenever one uses the toilet – a phenomenon that started for no...