Seven Years in T’bed

Once upon a time, this aspiring writer actually used to write. Back in the early 00’s I used to be able to churn out 5,000 words a day, and still dedicate the evenings to other activities, like getting drunk or being depressed.

Alas I am no longer that person. Over the years and sadly to say, decades, writing has become increasingly difficult for me. In fact – would you believe – there is a direct inverse correlation between my enthusiasm for writing and my enthusiasm for procrastination.

So in 2014 I began a new literary project.

It began as a series of fast, fun, and easy to write pulpy sci-fi episodes about an octopus in space. The idea was that, since I had lost all creative enthusiasm, this easy/fun to write project would re-engage my imagination and get me back into the flow of writing – maybe even to the extent of those halcion days when I could churn out 5k words from my bed, on a laptop with a hangover (the laptop, not me; I drink water before bed).

This did not happen.
When my new! improved! latest era of depression came upon me, I lost enthusiasm even for this project that was supposed to reinvigorate me. I began to procrastinate. And when I procrastinate I procrastinate hard.

I decided that each episodic installment of this project needed its own cover art. So I started making art instead of writing.
Then I decided that the book would need a trailer. So I started making a video.
Then I decided the video needed 3D animation, so I started learning how to wrangle Blender to do what I wanted.
Next I decided that the video needed music, so I started writing a song.
Then I decided that making music was quite a lot more entertaining than trying and failing to finish my octopus story, so I decided to write an album for the song. I wrote 12 songs before I was finally able to curb this form of procrastination, and some of them I think might be quite okay.

But then, returning to the song for the trailer for the stalled fiction project, I decided that any good song needs a music video. So I started making that. And then I decided I quite like the instrumental version of the song, because – like a lot of people – I intensely dislike the sound of my own voice, and that instrumental version needed its own video too.
This all coincided with ever-growing depression, and thus all of these endeavours too crawled to a virtual standstill.

The octopus project was still not complete.

I spent a few years promising myself I would get back into it and finish the fucking thing, but this never really occured. Over the course of my creative life I went from being able to write 5,000 words a day to maybe 100 in a year.

I sought medical aid for my deepening depression, and various doctors prescribed me various medications. I’ve tried 6 different antidepressants now, and none of them really make a dent in my mood. Or whatever the inverse of a dent is (a dent seen from the rear, probably).

Anyway. In May this year I first tried a new medication, which, while not an antidepressant, is taken in conjunction with it. And to everybody’s surprise, least of all mine, it made an impact. While not exactly filling me with the joys of living, it has had an impact on my motivation, energy levels, and attention span, to such an extent that I am now thinking once more about my poor neglected octopus story.

No more procrastination, I tell myself while deep in one form of procrastination or another. It’s time to finish the thing that hangs over me and fills me with dread every time I think of it. Time to finally finish, as I now think of it, ‘this fuckin thing’.

So. All of this is a roundabout way of saying that I am going to release what I have so far. There are 18 4-act episodes of the story, and while the final episodes are not yet complete, let alone redrafted and edited, my secret (“secret”) hope is that by the time all the preceding episodes are released, I will have been able to summon up the drive, determination, and discipline to finish them. I hope that a positive or enthusuastic response to the earlier episodes will invigorate and energise me in the endeavour. So like and subscrah just shoot me.

So. Saturday Gazette – Octopus in Space is finally going to see the light of day slash glow of device-with-screen.
I can no longer allow this, my largest and probably last, literary project to hang over me any more. I must be rid of it, and free of it. So the release has begun.

I’m uploading it to webnovel sites that encourage serialised fiction, like Royal Road, Wattpad, and Tapas. Episodes will be available to read early on Patreon. I’ve even created a subreddit to dump episodes on (which I already regret after experiencing the formatting issues involved there).

Along the way the artwork and the trailer will appear. And also the song, with its own music video. And also the instrumental version of that song, with ITS own music video. And likely some of my other procrastinatory endeavours too.

I am exhausted by this project (and life in general tbh), and I can no longer imagine marketing or promoting it properly, or commit to former goals such as recording audio episodes, so I’m just dumping it, act by act, episode by episode. It will be available for Kindle and other ebook readers for a price, but the whole work will be available to read, for free, on the above mentioned sites.

Any hopes and dreams I had for the story’s commercial success withered and died over the long years of my depression, and now I just need to be free of it.

So, I am proud-ish to announce that Saturday Gazette – Octopus in Space is finally here. And also to announce that I’m back on my blog after 2.5 years to announce it. Hello there.