A couple of months ago I applied for a job writing content for a PR company. I was asked to bring examples of content I had written, but most of my writing is either serious fiction or stupid stories. So I threw this together to show I could cut it in the real world.
Writing Content for an Interview
You’ve got the interview. Congratulations. But now what? You need to provide examples of content and you’re not sure all the other stupid shit you wrote will cut it in a professional environment?
Don’t panic. And don’t say ‘shit’ again. Follow this handy guide to bluff your way through.
1. Consider your topic.
What’s that? You don’t have a topic yet? Huh. Well, pick something that might make you look clever – like some kind of meta- commentary on your current problem. Don’t worry, there’s no way this will look like you’re trying too hard.
2. Research, research, research.
Google is your friend at this stage. If your article is of an instructional nature, just apply the words ‘How to’ before the title of your article and plagiarise whatever comes up first. Don’t worry – everyone else is writing their own content, so if you think about it, by being the sole plagiarist you’re the one being original.
My last story was in September?! Eek. Sorry. I haven’t abandoned this blog, I promise. In fact, quite the opposite – I check it every day to see if I have made a new post. But mostly I haven’t.
At the moment I have no internet access in my flat, which is one excuse I might give if I weren’t about to tell you in this sentence that the real reasons are mostly because I am lazy and/or doing other things. So at this moment I am sitting with a coffee in the café in which I work, plainly not doing café -related work, consuming the wi-fi bandwidth almost as greedily as I am consuming my coffee – which is to say that I hadn’t thought this metaphor through before I started it.
Ladies and gentlemen, cats and dogs, cakes and confectionary products everywhere.
I am pleased to announce that my novel Infected Connection is now available as an ebook.
There’s a NEW trailer!
There’s a website! With extras and FAQs and even a mobile version!
But most importantly, there’s a novel!
So if you fancy some high-tech horror with your tea and toast, technological terror with your coffee and cake, or science-fiction scares with your beer and bacon sandwiches, there are links to Smashwords and a bunch of different Amazon sites, here.
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In other news…
Read the above again!
It’s exciting! And Lappy II, my poor beleaguered laptop, deserves a well-earned high-five for making it through all this without turning into a flaming wreck!
I started writing about 12 years ago – which translates to approximately 1.5 years of writing, and 10.5 of furious and intense procrastination, masturbation and staring out of windows, waiting for fiction to assemble itself on the screen before me, and playing tower defence flash games when it did not.
In this time I’ve manage to squeeze from my creative sphincter four full, and two half novels; a smattering of short stories, and two depressing poems. Two of these novels were sent off to the Club of Literary Agents, where they got drunk, and nobody asked them to dance, and they came back home at the end of the evening and had a wank and cried themselves to sleep. The others just got stuck having pre-club drinks at the Need-Another-Redraft bar.
I started this blog a year and a day ago.
In honour of this – and in anticipation of a deeper writing-related post on the horizon, I’ve dug up an old short story for you – the first I’ve posted here. Enjoy.