Category: Blog posts

12

Brick Breaker

Yesterday I got stuck on the toilet. As entertaining as bodily functions are, I’m the kind of person who needs a little extra entertainment in the bathroom. Sometimes I like to read a chapter...

16

The Great McDonald’s Expedition of 2013

I’ve just returned from a lovely week in the lovely France, where the lovely Miss-Matic and I attended the lovely wedding of a lovely French couple, who were, quite frankly, lovely. While we were...

17

Unexplained Bruises

Picture this, if you think it wise: After a long day – or even a short day – of being a person who gets stuff done, I like to get myself a beverage, take...

22

The Pizza Beast

A couple of doors down from me lives a pizza beast. The pizza beast lives exactly where you might expect a pizza beast to live – in a pizza shop. The pizza beast and...

13

Creepy Toad Ornaments

Right now, as I type this, a creepy toad ornament is looking at me. This particular ornament is a little smaller than the size of a fist, made of dark wood. The upper jaw/head/back...

30

Dropping Things Again

I’m good at dropping things. So good, in fact, that sometimes my natural dropping-things instincts kick in when I’m not even trying. This is usually fine, except when I’m holding a thing – especially...

14

Applause

I live opposite a pub – which would be great if, a) I was deaf, b) I could afford to drink, and c) it wasn’t full of morons. Unfortunately, none of these things are...

18

The Tale of the Mysterious Bong

I was lying in bed the other night, working out exactly how I would melt the West Antarctic Ice Sheet to drown the low-lying areas of the world if I were a supervillain, when...

21

Doors

Yesterday I left the flat to go job hunting. Everybody goes about this arduous activity in different ways, but for me this involved walking down the street with my hands in my pockets, kicking...