Author: Ashmatica

36

Ash-Matic Does Whales in the Swimming Pool

A swimming pool is a big pool of liquid in which people swim. They come in many shapes and sizes, and occasionally are filled with non-conventional liquids – just like the swimming pools themselves....

33

Ash-Matic Does Masculine Scratching

There are many differences between the genders. Some of these are obvious – like a pair of lovely boobs – but it’s rude to stare, so we’re all obliged to pretend they’re not that...

38

Ash-Matic Does Good News and Bad News.

The other night I had two pieces of news: One was that the lovely Miss-Matic would be away overnight the next day, due to a work commitment; the other was that our fridge-freezer had...

30

Ash-Matic Does Domestic Discord

Uh oh. I’m in trouble. Miss-Matic has guests. And when Miss-Matic has guests, the laws of chaos seem to inexplicably change. Normally, when I walk into a someone’s home and see an unwashed mug,...

25

Ash-Matic Does Feline-Distraction Syndrome

I like cats, but my affection for these aloof felines sometimes comes with negative consequences – and therefore I don’t always like that affection. For instance, as much as I love getting cat on...

25

Ash-Matic Does Likes and Dislikes

I don’t like things. I’m a grumpy person, and so, I like not liking things. I get a sense of familiar reassurance when there is something I don’t like, a sense that everything is...

32

Ash-Matic Does Arachnophobia

I don’t like spiders. Nobody likes spiders. Let’s not kid outselves about this. Nobody. Those freaks who keep tarantulas in tanks? They don’t like spiders. They just want to know where that bastard is...

7

Ash-Matic Does Some Exercise

Okay, okay. I suppose that is a somewhat misleading title. Of course I’m not exercising. Don’t be silly. I’m in bed, drinking coffee. Maybe I should have called this post: Ash-Matic Thinks About Doing...

9

Ash-Matic Does Speech-Recognition

I’m a child of science-fiction. It was my father’s fault. Him and his bookshelves full of Asimov and Clarke and Wyndham and Wells, and to this day I still look forward to the myriad...

9

Ash-Matic Does Chore-Avoidance

Did I ever mention how prominently my ability to procrastinate features on my list of talents? It’s pretty high. Or it would be, if I’d gotten around to making that list. Right now, right...