Unexplained Bruises

Picture this, if you think it wise:

After a long day – or even a short day – of being a person who gets stuff done, I like to get myself a beverage, take off my trousers, and sit around in my underwear for a while.

Who doesn’t?

The other day I was sitting on the sofa, elegantly sprawled and scratching bits that needed to be scratched, when I noticed a big bruise on my thigh. It was the kind of bruise that says ‘Hey!

So I looked at the bruise, said ‘Hey,’ back, and wondered where it had come from. My curiosity didn’t last long – I got distracted by my beverage, which on this particular occasion was hot, and had a half-biscuit floating in it.

Continue reading Unexplained Bruises

The Pizza Beast

A couple of doors down from me lives a pizza beast.

The pizza beast lives exactly where you might expect a pizza beast to live – in a pizza shop.

The pizza beast and I have a wary kind of relationship. We’re like the daddy lions of neighbouring prides; rival wizards whose sorcerous towers overlook the same enchanted forest, or the last two bruised apples in the supermarket, desperately not wanting to be the last bruised apple in the supermarket.

Yep. We keep a wary eye on each other.

Continue reading The Pizza Beast